wtf PETA, vol. 48459375

Last week, PETA wanted to advertise on teeter-totters at a playground at a public elementary school in Frankfort, Kentucky. The proposed advertisements would read "Tot teetering on obesity? Go vegan!" and have the PETA logo. In addition to the ads, the school would also get thousands of free veggie burgers in their cafeteria. Not surprisingly, the school turned the offer down on the grounds that the students are too young to understand or interpret such direct advertising. Good for them. Why does everything PETA does still surprise me? I mean, PETA does have a lot of great resources and they are very well-connected. But why do they stoop to such ridiculous levels? (Or kill animals? Or promote welfarism? Or focus on winnable campaigns that don't really effect change? Different posts for different days...) This is an organization that has literally made coffins emblazoned with their logo and an animal-rights message. Classy, classy folks. But even beyond the laughability of such a campaign, it just doesn't make sense. If a kid is young enough to be using a teeter-totter, and if that kid is already anywhere near obese, there are way more problems in his/her life than can be untangled by their/their parents' seeing an advertisement like that. Thanks for continuing to make all vegans look utterly ridiculous, PETA.

ingenuity in cheese and chips

Food science, especially when something vegan is involved, will never cease to amaze me. They can make mock snails from wheat (seitan) and ice cream from hemp and that's all well and good, but now they can make cheese out of oatmeal! OATMEAL. WTF. It's made of oatmeal and it's really good and tastes cheesy! My parents didn't raise a liar.

I heard about We Can't Say It's Cheese a few months ago, but, honestly, there are so many brands of vegan cheese out there, a name like that just doesn't cause one to drop the Daiya/Cheezly/etc. The other night I was at the grocery, planning to make quesadillas and not being able to find vegan sour cream (boo Market of Choice, boo). Near the regular sour cream was this fine product. Oh! Recognition! Intrigue! "Mexi-Cheddar"! Sounded like it would go equally well with quesadillas, so that was that. 

This stuff is really good! It is a little thicker and milder than non-vegan jarred queso dip, but overall it's very similar and has a good flavor. It reminded me of a queso-style dip someone made at a vegan potluck a few years ago from Jo Stepaniak's Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook, if that means anything to you. Overall I can't think of any way to improve it without veering too far into territory of "This tastes so much like what it's a vegan version of, it's kinda gross" (e.g. ricemilk tastes too much like cow's milk to me, so I hate the taste). Hooray oatmeal cheese!

WCSIC (oh, name it something else) in the bowl, being tasty

yum! A segway into the other part of this post.....make your own tortilla chips! You don't need a deep fryer or anything fancy (other than yourself). Cut a tortilla into eighths, spray a cookie sheet with baking spray, and put it in a 350F oven for ten minutes or so. So much healthier than fried, probably cheaper than buying bagged tortilla chips, and they have better flavor. DO IT. 

quick hit: vegan teen

Today I did a Google search for 'vegan teen', and this was one of the first results. It's the strangest veg-related website I've seen, and enjoyable for that in itself. Just bizarre. I think this was somebody's final project for Computer Science in eighth grade. The site's design is too...stunning...to ignore, but other than that, it offers the only vegan-themed online games I've seen. In addition to driving a hippie van around to pick up tofu, you can also shoot Ronald McDonald in the face with a swordfish. And who doesn't want that?

One question: WHY does Google assume that 'vegan' and 'vegetarian' are synonyms? They are not, O Google. Blah.

Tofurky soda

If you've ever had Jones soda, you know they like quirky flavors and gimmicky packaging, e.g. Blue Bubblegum flavor and a Cthulu-themed series. I like quirky flavors and fun things. To a degree, that is. Just in time for the holiday season, Jones is rolling out a completely vegan Tofurky and Gravy flavor.
Of soda.
Um....
Part of me is really glad that they're marketing to vegans. Last I heard there are more Americans who think they have been abducted by aliens than who are vegan. So it's exciting to see such a random, nothing-to-do-with-veganism/health/the environment company loudly proclaiming from the main page of their website that a new product is '100% Vegan' 'Turkey approved' (har) etc., etc. Would they be selling it/making it/advertising it if it weren't at least okay?
But on the other hand....really? I'm trying to imagine what on earth this would taste like. Soda is supposed to be sweet. Tofurky and gravy are not. So either it's a cold fizzy turkey soup with no sweetness or....gravy and HFCS. Yum.
However, we must remember the union of sweet and savory that can be good, like vegan bacon and syrup. But that in a drink? Curiouser and curiouser. And if they had to pick a fake meat to make anything out of, Tofurky is not the one to have chosen. Tofurky is turkey-flavored tofu. Meh. What about field roast? It has been my and many of my vegan friends' experience that Tofurky is what you have for your first vegetarian/vegan holiday because you've heard of it. Never again do you have it, because the next year you have discovered Field Roast, which is something you actually want a second bite of and don't feel embarrassed offering to omnis.

I'm not sure where or how you can find this Tofurky soda. The Jones Soda website will sell you a six-pack: three Tofurky & Gravy sodas, three other diet sodas they're trying to promote, all in a commemorative lunchbox for the low low price of $11.99. In all honesty I am eager to at least try this soda. But not twelve dollars and three bottles worth.